Terror Force Commando (1986)

Cia agent teams up with Camaroonese police officer to stop a terrorist organization from killing the pope.

Not only does this have Richard Harrison as a badass cia agent, its also directed and written by him. And if thats wasnt enough there is plenty of bad acting, lots of shootings , bloody killings and a kick ass soundtrack.

Other titles:   Three Men on Fire, Tre uomini di fuoco, Chasse à l'homme.

The shinobi ninja (1981)

As international agents fail to stop government top-security leaks they begin to suspect that  the ruthless ninja organisation EGA  is responsible. Lacking the means to battle the ninjas they seek help from ninjutsu champion Ken Suzuki ( Tadashi Yamashita ) ,  the only one with the skills to take on this ultimate challenge.

Kickboxer Robocop aka Rings Untouchable (1990)

Just another two-movies-in-one  from the king of  the craptastic Godfrey Ho.
 Kickboxer Jake is injected with a power enhancing drug that causes him to hallucinate and think hes fighting a robot. When he refuses to take any more drugs he is fired and desperate for money he decides to cash in on a drugdeal with his friend Kevin which lands them both in jail. After meeting three gentlemen and a sucessful escape , Jake gets injected with even more drugs and gets to fight the Robocop kickboxer once again.

Angel in the Dark aka The destroyer (1991)

Excop, turned alcoholic after his family was killed by the viscious druglord Snowman, teams up with undercover black cop whose partner was killed by the very same druglord.After some sobering up and martial arts training they are ready to fight for revenge.

Runaway nightmare (1982)

When your dream becomes a reality,Its a runaway nightmare.

Does that title and tagline make no sense whatsoever? Well this movie wont either.

Two  wormfarmers on a desolate  ranch  witness two men burying a coffin in the desert,  they decide to dig it up and  discover a women  inside  whom they take  home. Then an all-female cult appears to claim the woman  and they also kidnaps the farmers  to use as sexslaves  before the men join their cause to fight the evil syndicate. 

This male wannabe action exploitation  fantasy is filled with bad jokes, bad acting, topless scenes (shoot on video using different actors) , crappy action, slow scenes and lots of hilarious craptastic weird stuff. First and only work of director Michael Cartel is worth checking out for its stupidity and obscurity.

Driving force aka Roadwars (1989)

 

In a futuristic time, a fierce band of marauders, the Black Knights, rule the
road - and everyone on it. Into this chaos comes a fearless warrior to challenge
them. Together with a tough, beautiful woman, he pits himself against the
Destroyers.

 Don Swayse and the black knights rule the roads in a dystopian future. Looks pretty awesome right? Wrong, it isnt. Two  guys drive around  and occasionally  bump into each other is the closest thing to a roadwar we get and  our hero must also find the time to  fight a custody battle (say wtf now?) against his upper class parents-in-laws.

Clearly someone just copied the description of a good movie and changed the title.

Firehead (1991)

 

Freedom.loving communist cyborg with eye lasers had enough and defects to find a free country (Guess which one?) . And while a Us Government agent is teaming up with a chemist to track cyborg down ,  a terroristgroup, known as The upper order, wants the cyborg for themselves to use its  powers to take over the world.

Hitchhike to hell (1977)

 In this Sleazeball 70ies protoslasher mamas boy Howard picks up hitch hikers in his deliverytruck  and if they are runaways , and especially if they hate their mamas,  he rapes  and strangles them  with a coathanger.

Highway hell aka Hitchhike to hell (1941)

Booze, fast cars and dancing lures young girls into prostitution and murder.

Karateciler Istanbul'da aka Ninja killer (1974)

Turkish karate cop teams up with Hong kong agent to track down a crimelord and stop a gangwar.

Ninja Türk trash with Cüneyt Arkin and Bolo Yeung, enough said.

"If you want him, you´ll have to come and suck my fist first"

Gymkata (1985)

The skill of gymnastics, the kill of karate!

The undedeveloped (They dont have any teeth and protect the king with bow and arriw) small country of Parmesan (Wait what?)  happens to be the  perfect spot for the american star wars program and as it happens they  host  a competition called the game in which the winner gets granted one wish. The government calls upon all-American dreamboat Kurt Thomas (Jonathan Calbot) to compete and he must combine gymnastics with karate to form the fighting style Gymkata! And if that wasnt enough, he must also fight the evil Zamir (Rickard Norton) and win the Princess (Tetchie Agbayani) heart AND save the kingdom.  *pheew*

 

Bad-Ass Norton and Dreamboat Calbot

Yeah lets take a close-up of a mans crotch weraing those sexy 80ies shorts!


This movie  is quite a cliché with american patriotism mixed with the fear of nuclear war and craptastic delight,  I mean, the cruel game is really nothing but a marathon trough a swamp whits lot of climbing so why the hell train martial arts for that? Did he sense some bad shit was about to go down?  The acting is quite crap and  character development is below zero, for instance, Calbot manages to be utterly annoyed and fall in love with princess within 5 minutes of the film and without her saying a word. But who cares when there is Gymkata fighting american heroes!

Mørkeleg aka Backstabbed (1996)

A knife wielding serial killer has claimed 7 victims and not only that, he has also killed one of your friends in your favorite bar. Which makes this the perfect time to play a murder game with 3 of your friends inside an old dark house whose resident recently died.

This danish slasher has its fair amounts of blood and stabbings and features one of the weirdest killers ever caught on slasherfilm.

The pace that kills (1928)

Do you remember those glorious days when cocaine was the gateway drug into full blown heroin addiction? You dont? Well then, take a trip down memory lane in this 60 minutes anti-sin, anti-drug silent film.

A countryboy leaves his sweetheart Mary-Jane (Really?) behind and moves to the big city to work. Within days in the big city of sin he is introduced to cocaine  and then move on to Morphine, Opium and finally...Heroin!

I love this movie, its was way before its time  with  full blown drughysteria and christian morality. For instance we learn that drug addicts have a burning desire to introduce innocent  boys and girls to cocaine and if you take it 3 times you become an addict. And yes, not to forget, the western civilization  is the highest civilization the world has ever seen and its about to be destroyed by dope, the demon dope! If they only knew...

Demon Dope! We wants some!